sglèat / slate

Standard

In another time & place       

when i was someone else — i          

held you. saw you for the 

last time. final journey.   

gazing out towards   

home, i watched you  

fly — across the tidal ice.

soul carried 

high. sky slate    

grey, as the ice packed 

North Sea,

roared tumbling.

pain echoing thunder.

crack. the tearing 

of my soul & all the half stitched

seams holding us together.

i stood inside days. waiting. lost 

inside the storm.

staring out. standing tied.

shore-bound, screaming

at the raw edged wound of nature. 

hoping to be swallowed up,

as hearts opened & merged 

with the fossils of stones.

one moment out of time & step,

the glance away — the cruelest blow. 

my hell brain mind replaying 

last words back

to me. unsettled, mingling with the

Sea. as day rolled in & out. pain

washing over. tears flooding,

drowning me,mixing with the salt. eroding

my reflection. the me i had become,

your eyes, staring back 

from the deep, in 

hollowed scooped

out silence. 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

òran / song

Standard

do you have to know  

a language,to understand

a song.heartache in the loss.   

sadness inside melancholy.

love,within the light,

reverberates. nature’s echo  

ripples over the landscape 

of unspoken trace memory. 

inside each raindrop life’s river

runs.the stag hears below

the heather.below the ground.

below all sound.blood pumps

within everything.inside every

flower that blooms — shoots — 

the newborn song of life.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

mar chùimhneachan / in memoriam

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for as long as memory,  

i have stared at the

exit. a glow-worm radiant, switched    

off and on

in mind. it comforts me.

calming my thoughts, scorching  

past the c r i s s  

c r o s s landscape of

the never[mind]. 

only i hold the key 

that opens that final

silent room, inside the box,

inside the house of me.

i lived there,

once, safe. inside that room, 

absent of thought, 

inner silence 

runs as the ice river.

washing over me, subduing, submerging

my tears. i am smothered under 

molten earth. in that land, pain

lies down, & sleeps forever,

and all the fractured

pieces lost along the way

reassemble. i radiate onward

outwith the sun. the mirrored river

of life flows on, softening

the embers of the flames

inside the burn.

the soul will finally – be. 

in memoriam, i can return.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

èirigh na grèine / sunrise

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I walk towards infinity. how good to   

finally be one with all in me. to lie down,   

in cool rained grass. to seek no more. 

to lay my limbs among the roots 

of trees.  s t r e t c h i n g  o u t  the dusk 

filled sky. to bleed forth dreams, 

into the sap of man. let go, to breathe 

to die. death as journey, 

the withered path inside. returning. 

recognition, under towering oak.

connecting roots, that flow beyond coming spring, 

return us to the blood of life. the beating 

damp earths soothe.

we whisper memory into the wind, 

as overhead, crow flies free, 

awakening earths sunrise.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

an-luchdaich / overload    

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how did I get to this place ?     

this undetermined stop. inside the garden       

of the walled indifference    

of me. do i stop in recognition of these silent   

shadowed spaces. do they perceive me, at my

weakest point. do they hear the

static overload. the voices that push 

& press, all the buttons all at once.

the pressure to address,

the irritation in my mind. that is pulled 

to the point of overload. are they the 

silent witness to the thoughts 

that live past rescued reason. 

the shapes that watch & follow.

that walk, stalking beyond the cracks.

pulling me over the unseamed edge.

inside the well worn ridges of my

descending mind[set] in its oblique 

groove overture. 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

pribhleid / privilege

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Creationist insanity needs conversion [therapy]

scripture never should be disguised as homophobic [rhetoric]

minorities on their knees forced to take it. racism runs

off at the mouth. white power lies, ignorant [wrapped] in red

white & blue [misogyny] feels – it’s way, dripping, vile & crude,

slithering. bigotry vomits on a nation of minorities

divided by its [white ] power

burns through the progress of [a Dream I had ]

on a hill. great men bow their heads. [in] [shame cries

as [black lives matter ]hangs on every cross. as a rainbow dissolves

in the dark storm, the vision of the approaching [new world order]

©Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

toirt air falbh / subtraction

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the only one who

ever gave me a refund

on how i was feeling

was you. the till

was always clamped. shut. no one had

what i was looking for.

no one recognised

i only had the exit. key in my pocket.

cold hands reaching.

i still see ,the sign.

flickering like a moth in and

out the light. dancing with

the devil. a glow-worm

burrowing in.

my exit – a becoming – glow. it’s everywhere i go.

the man with the blade follows me.

I follow the rich red velvet — the decompose.

he turns the light above the doorway on.when

i least expect it. leaves the door for me,

when im not okay. it’s okay to not be. i lie, in wait.

i glance into the distract. life trails away.

in the dark, droplets of pain flick off, metal glints.

pulling me.

pain lies,it knows no truths. its trickster whispers –

the becoming scream – in league

with the hellbrain. the dark subtractions

of me. suicides unforgiving past projector

lighting up. the wall ahead, distorting.

twisting my thoughts. wiping out all reason.

a static overload tuned to the judgement station.

the post it notes of past mistakes, razor wire stitched

inside my shredded, peeling soul.

if the devil is in the details,

who is it i see lurking

in the shadows of

disorder, waiting for me?

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.