sglèat / slate

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In another time & place       

when i was someone else — i          

held you. saw you for the 

last time. final journey.   

gazing out towards   

home, i watched you  

fly — across the tidal ice.

soul carried 

high. sky slate    

grey, as the ice packed 

North Sea,

roared tumbling.

pain echoing thunder.

crack. the tearing 

of my soul & all the half stitched

seams holding us together.

i stood inside days. waiting. lost 

inside the storm.

staring out. standing tied.

shore-bound, screaming

at the raw edged wound of nature. 

hoping to be swallowed up,

as hearts opened & merged 

with the fossils of stones.

one moment out of time & step,

the glance away — the cruelest blow. 

my hell brain mind replaying 

last words back

to me. unsettled, mingling with the

Sea. as day rolled in & out. pain

washing over. tears flooding,

drowning me,mixing with the salt. eroding

my reflection. the me i had become,

your eyes, staring back 

from the deep, in 

hollowed scooped

out silence. 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

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13 thoughts on “sglèat / slate

      • Sorry about the delay, Karen. Your poetry really does capture that emotional turbulence. The intensity of your work really resonates with me. It’s seems that some of us have to endure a great deal in life. It’s so great that we can both have release in our writings. I hope you’re doing OK. I look forward to returning to your wonderful website. Take care. x

      • No problem on delay Mary, only good to hear back from you. I’m slow back to you, life & health [so called] delay. Thanks so much for all your kindness here. I’m an emotional bunny, everything is sensory, at times all overwhelms, past & present but writing certainly does help us out with that. Life can & has been painful for so many of us, but i learned that creativity is a definite out! Your writing resonates inside also Mary, emotion flows through your work. Always good to follow a wonderful writer, you can connect with, & understand. Sending you my best. Hoping you are doing okay too. X

      • Hi Karen,

        Thank-you for taking the time to write and for your openness. I felt that same empathy in you. I feel that people who are suffering have that in abundance. I am saddened to read of your sense of being overwhelmed, and the struggle is tangible in your words. I struggle to keep my depressive thoughts under control, and the frustration of long-term serious illness is terrible. I want to be the person that I was before the illness began, and knowing that this is impossible is almost unbearable. However, you are right – the writing brings comfort and a chance for release. Thanks so much for your positive comments on my work. Do stay in touch. All the best to you too. xx

      • Hi Mary, I feel & understand all you say on depressive thoughts & long term illness. The pain of both together & the fight, is hard, especially at night. I feel for you in your struggle. Depressive thoughts have a dark life all their own, tougher still when illness tires us. You lose sight of who you are or were, & I know I’ve wasted much energy in trying to get back to me. Your words ‘I want to be the person that I was before the illness began..’ echo strongly with me. When I had my brain surgery, that was what I focused on. No doubt it got me through, pulled me on. Now I’m doing the neurological polka, 3 steps forward.. 2 steps back. I had severe depression as a teen, hadn’t factored in it might do a return performance. Long term illness takes its toll, but I know I’ve also found another me. It’s opened another door, given me creative expression in a form I had abandoned once before. Within this darkness,there can still be good. On my best days I try & believe that there is a transformation in progress, within this chaos, yes we are not who we were & can never be, we are version 2.0 & we know ourselves more deeply than we ever would have. My hardest struggle has been with acceptance. I stare at the stars on my worst nights, I feel less alone inside the pain. Your writing is hauntingly beautiful, & so full of emotion. Writers can help us with their wonderful words. That bond of struggle connects us all. There is much to be said for getting lost in words. Keep in touch, do X and if you want to talk you can email me anytime. [karenbain4@icloud.com] Take care Mary X

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