bàsachadh / dying

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my love is a broken door, breaking

you, over & over. until it’s over, and

i don’t want you to go, but i am

glad for you. i push away. there

is ice water filling up the scars holding

me together. submerging emotion.

blunted, pain cuts through obscure ice.

the submerged room i am trapped in,

i can no longer stand, i sink to give.

the pain is endless.

i open the dark box of nothing.

inside thoughts repeat

the voice of self annihilation,

as written on the walls, in the blood

of yesterday & the day after. emptied i sit.

knowing i get back to this, guts me.

i stare at the black void pool. reflection

of all my living fear.

there is no door out of this room. i am

sealed inside my mind. memory ruptures

through sinew. i leak. blooming on,

aching through night born, seeping into

the ice floor shelf, it adds

to the blackness, it will swallow me up.

i am the death mattress whore.

i plunge, submerge.

empty of me, wanting more. your face the last

i see. always, i see you, staring back at me.

mouth open. eyes gaze into

the face of all that is unknown.

you are dead. i am always dying.

our love is decomposing.

©Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

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29 thoughts on “bàsachadh / dying

    • Thank you Kindra.. such a beautiful response ..sometimes that language of pain .. has its moments, writing helps .. all i know ! I’m a very late bunny on the reply .. but I’m glad you enjoyed. been lost in book scribbling land .. whole other headache .. thanks on the reblogg X

      • You’re so welcome, Karen. I’m a huge fan of yours. ❤ I get happy immediately when I find something new from you because your words always resonate with me. You are a terrific writer. ❤

      • Thanks Kindra.. sending love X been so lost in writing that there’s much to catch up on.. Your writing I always look out for .. Your writing is wonderfully dark & real & I love it too X thankful for all that you write & share .. that sense of not being alone in all this crazy & all that’s been. I’ve been missing this space.. it’s bloody beautiful X ❤️

    • Thank you so much Mary.. a piece that was difficult to write .. & i am glad if i managed to convey the feeling at its core .. pain seems to be a language .. working through it, can have rewards. You have been much in my thoughts, I’m an incredibly late bunny in getting back to you in email.. i did begin,& thank you for your beautiful message. Head has been misbehaving, but i promise to write soon. Look after you, Mary .. sending my love X

      • Thank-you for those kind words, Karen. I’m so sorry to hear that you are more unwell at present. Please don’t feel any pressure to write until you are feeling better. Apologies for my delay with this response. Take good care. Lots of love, xx.

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