my love is a broken door, breaking
you, over & over. until it’s over, and
i don’t want you to go, but i am
glad for you. i push away. there
is ice water filling up the scars holding
me together. submerging emotion.
blunted, pain cuts through obscure ice.
the submerged room i am trapped in,
i can no longer stand, i sink to give.
the pain is endless.
i open the dark box of nothing.
inside thoughts repeat
the voice of self annihilation,
as written on the walls, in the blood
of yesterday & the day after. emptied i sit.
knowing i get back to this, guts me.
i stare at the black void pool. reflection
of all my living fear.
there is no door out of this room. i am
sealed inside my mind. memory ruptures
through sinew. i leak. blooming on,
aching through night born, seeping into
the ice floor shelf, it adds
to the blackness, it will swallow me up.
i am the death mattress whore.
i plunge, submerge.
empty of me, wanting more. your face the last
i see. always, i see you, staring back at me.
mouth open. eyes gaze into
the face of all that is unknown.
you are dead. i am always dying.
our love is decomposing.
©Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.