tàirneach / thunder

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I washed you out with bitter words
i washed myself out with it. spat me
out down the drain where I’m sitting
still. watching waiting for the change
to come to feel again to leave undone
to stop the hammer in my head that
keeps reverberating through each night
each day disrupting all, won’t leave me be..
i did not want what you wanted
i did not want
i did not
i did
i
I saw
i saw the spark
i saw the spark kindle
i saw the spark kindle and catch light
I saw the light within the darkness
the darkness within your eyes
i wanted to dive in to see to feel to
lose myself, get lost in all from me as
far from me as i could get it’s never
far enough. i see and feel the rain too much
i see and feel the voices echoing, resonating
on into the distance and back again. the
arrows as they pierce. i am engulfed buried
under the darkest night of howling moon.

i see the colours of the darkness, the dripping
reds and hurtful words the clawing and the
scratches the cut marks as i lay in bed, it all
comes back to me tenfold within the voice
that will not leave or listen. i see and feel
all I’ve done undone and done again i feel unto
the end of time the crushing inside my mind,
the crushing weight of all the pain, the universe
undone again. as it cries out i hear the siren
in the whisper,the banshee in its loss, the blood
that thunders underground, the spark that shoots
and feeds the roots of all we are connected — dis
connected to,the ties that bind us all together,
the shadows as they walk and creep, the darkness
as it swoops and steeps to reach out to us, to
lend a hand, the fist that closes in. i hear the
silence beneath the waves that beat, that rise and
fall, ebb in and out and crash — as birds swoop
overhead and trust the air that suffocates.

i did not want to be as i am but here i sit and this
is me, a shell engulfed by flames and light within
the screaming darkness of my night.
a shell surrounded and engulfed by sound, that flows
and pumps the beat unto the ground,that feels it
all the ebb the flow the heightening quick of the
undertow, as i am pulled this way and that.
i spat me out down the drain where I’m sitting still..
watching waiting for the change to come,to feel
again to leave undone to stop the hammer in my
head. to leave me be to be as dead within the
hush, the silence that must live — somewhere
inside the chaos within — the melancholy of
the sound…

 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Loidhneachan / Lines

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Photo:Wiki [CC BY-SA 3.0]

Lines drawn

connecting

landscape to a people

lines connecting people to themselves

linear visible imprints hard/ distinct

Crafted on aged stone

granite hewed from a Living past

from known surroundings

touched and shaped by cultured hands

Inclusive of a language and of a people

a vibrant landscape

known by time past

and the blowing singing gale

unknown to us now

a forgotten song

the people of our land

immortal seeds

Planted firmly in fertile ground

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved

An t-Slighe / The Way

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I am the sum of all who have helped me
all who have shown me the way
I am the sum of all who have offered me
their tomorrow’s are my today

I am the sum of all who saw in me
what I did not see in myself
the sum of a precious journey…
The path beyond myself

I am the sum of all who gave to me
what I could not find inside of me
I am the song that was sung to my heart
echoing beyond my darkest night

the sum of a thousand tender gifts
Speaking love and beauty and dignity…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Amor et Vita

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Where has our love gone
have time and pain washed love away
Has our focus shifted feelings
left behind along the way..
Has pain blocked out all the sunlight
the path that leads to and from our door
has warmth left my chambered heart forever
Is love lying dying on our floor..
Is it hiding from what lies waiting
all that causes it Fear and pain..
Is it hanging on to something Dead now
something remembered
something blamed..
Have fear and anger distorted our vision
of who we are and how we feel
Has the sunlight turned to Darkness
our Echoes of pain…all that is Real..

tha mi airson faighinn a-mach
©Copyright Karen Bain 2015.All Rights Reserved.

 

Fading

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I walk as a shadow
inside forgotten footsteps
Of melting ice prints
of time and winters past…
Through well raced pathways
over curving hill
and wind scarred tracks
along landscapes of frozen
fading memories…

   
At my core I am on fire
raging to feel the sun
Restless to unravel
my earth bound bonds
to journey through this Wasteland
of pain
To find my way Home
again…

   

©Copyright Karen Bain 2015.All Rights Reserved.