tuiteamach / falling

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when you speak to me of love

your voice is all constricted,

your gaze is down,

watching restless movements,

birds circling your feet — today’s incompletes

drowning in substantive

thought — i can feel it — the reverberated

shuffling, night’s ripple of uncomfortable,

mistimed tuneless

unorchestrated movements,

the awkward in-betweens of our life.

and yet.

full of care,

care sits right over there,

with you. sits where you sit, somehow

it fits, & i am — comfortable

for the first time — in a long time. yet

my heart is pounding, rushing, flowing,

pulsing, growing into you, pulling away.

blooming — booming — my voice

is all avoidance, avoiding me, the day,

my feelings as all the words flow on repeat

and rush away — flowing forwards,

rushing, running,

leaving me.

standing -— still.

my mind

and all contained — will never find the still,

the air around, the room in which we sit

or stand, to fall.

i fall, i fail.

the continual fall to fail,

below your feet.

and who am i.

a passing torment.

a passing — wasted

moment,

inside the blink —

of your eye.

©kbain2018.

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aig toiseach-tòiseachaidh / in the beginning

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my father reached out

spoke to me in the instant

before death,

lost inside the earth cores deepest

sleep, held inside the silent

mountain, i held his

hand. sing out. life is all

reaching, if you’re doing,

falling, failing,

getting up. living in the

joy & inside the saddest river.

life is present, being.

inside life’s pain

we stretch to live, all trying,

lost within the dying & the ends.

mute swans sing out

in their dying moments.

a story told in days, reaching

into tomorrow, carried on

from otherworlds,

upon the backs of birds who travel

in between the song of sound. the song the

living cannot hear unless we dream.

birds speak & understand the minds of man.

we have travelled together,

watching inside darkened

centuries of history in

muted communication,shaping time,as

shifting sound. listen. the dreaming

understand the song of death,

the journey into the screaming universe.

the shifting shore where our first words

were song,

held within the blink of

night hawk eye. swans sing inside

their joy to die, they

call out to the darkness that sings to

them. i heard my father

in his dying breath. his song of loss, speaking forgiveness, a song

of pain. the messenger walks

between the sound of worlds, he

whispers, listen. know in recognition,

the going home, the roaring dawn ahead. the end is the voice of understanding.

©kbain2018.All Rights Reserved.