gun rabhadh / unannounced  

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voices come to me unannounced i  
answer them. they offer unfinished
questions. i have incompletes to give
spoken, in the language of broken. 
mouth sounds, garbled out sync
from a time before, the out spark misfire.
they hover near my face, sometimes they
bark, i am the one begging. they slide into
me as i become. disappear at my bidding 
back into the porous wall, the white noise sleep, 
the shutter, curtain to the overwhelm,
offered up from the land of never born. i sink. 
i am the stone, recumbent 
under ice river, white numb bone. 
the water goddess ice shelf 
washes over me.
i drift to sea. no dreams live underwater.
blanc nothing, buoyant in loss. i am 
absent. existence ebbs & flows 
inside the undertow i was born into, that keeps me
down. i kick, twitch to surface spitting.
lashed incomplete, inside confusion. 
drying out, thawing, i will remember who i was,
next,
time.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.  

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gràdh agus beatha / Amor et Vita

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final

 

W h e r e  has  our love gone
have  time and  p a i n  washed
love  a w a y
has our  f o c u s
s h i f t e d  feelings
left behind along the way..
Has  p a i n  blocked
out the sunlight
the path that leads to
and from  m y  door
has warmth left  y o u r  chambered heart forever
Is love  l y i n g  dying
b a t t e r e d  on  a  b l e e d i n g floor..
Is it  h i d i n g  from
what  l i e s  waiting
all that causes it f e a r
and  p a i n..
Is it hanging on to something
d e a d  n o w..
something  r e m e m b e r e d
something  blamed..
Have  f i s t s and  a n g e r  distorted my vision
of who i  a m  and  how  i  f e e l
has the sunlight turned
to D a r k n e s s
my  e c h o   of  p a i n  all
that is  R e a l …

tha mi airson faighinn a-mach
©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Oidhche / Night

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image

Light dies untouched..
ebbing away
Darkness seeps
into every thought
each sickly pore
tuneless Memories burn and
Slice at open nerves
Laid seeping bare
by dreams of night
my memories of you
First glimpse unto the last
played back in jarring non sequential time..

Stark images
of warmth and of the sun
scattering in spirals downwards
Unordered
Torn inside the
Final darkened day
Unseen until I stepped inside
and Stopped..

Cold..
love broken sits unseeing
shattering the mirror
still life
as loves curtain gently
blows beyond
and outside streetlights
look on
into the flicker
where all life lives..

Love lost
forever locked inside the
blossoming river inside
the empty silent room
the final Stop..
where I walked in
where love in silence sat and died
where futile impotence
gave birth in me..

I stood incapable
Laid bare
In greyed out emotion
echoing screams inside my mind
that wouldn’t Stop
the questions unto myself
my pleading unto you
unheard..
Anger rising
as silent
shadows swept the room

Were they looking for love too..

 

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Mì-dhealbhaich / Distorts

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In the dying embers of fading light

Fractal distortions echo and glare

distorted voices painfully overlap

haunted pain-wrenching imagery…

 

Visions of warped consciousness

fearfully scatter in the periphery

of my Ticking trickling time

that warps and bends

As it drips

gathers useless droplets

and falls in mindless

puddles of pooled lost connections…

 

Intricate dis-chords shattering the room

broken shards of thought

ungrasped scattering outwith…

Evaporating from touch

as grasping hands reach out

Lost inside the dimming light

of minds once razor sharp

expectant day…

 

Reductions of thought

lost in severing Pain

tuneless overlays…

Of days and moments fading memories

that once roared and blazed

so clearly

across the sun drenched paths…

 

Sure footing

Fallen

into Jarring

lessening

unknown

Voiceless twilight…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

luaithreach / Dust

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Glass-Colour Edit - Copy

 

I weep for the past
for our future days
I weep for all that was
All that has been blown away
all that is gone
Never to be no more
I weep for our freedom
in tatters on the deadened earthen floor
I weep for who we were
and what we had
I thought I knew…
the looking glass is shattered
our world has been inverted
Imploded around our ears
All is lost and I am surrounded
by nothing but fear
broken sunlight full of loss
All our love gone to Dust…

 

©Karen Bain 2015.All Rights Reserved.

ciùrr / hurt

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Retreating inwardly
coiling back deep inside
a shadow spinning onwards
into dark unexplored lands
returning to the journey
the path to me

Broken love in shattered pieces
non-repairable
smashed and ground underfoot
Lost within the hateful
hollow words
spewed out…in non contextual parts
Becoming dust…
no thought of love
or care of connection

Love selfishly-self/erased
an empty vessel cast aside
into the cold bitter black forgotten void
unrecognisable now
twisted out of shape
like your words to me
cruel imprints of your barren heart
This is how I will Remember you…

©Karen Bain 2015. All Rights Reserved.