fosail / fossil

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sit with me inside the night,   

i am holding the blue black 

of loss. its river of tar & fossil flows   

through me. flooding all senses. submerging  

my footsteps i walk through myself.

darkening isolation’s hollow 

tree. the wolf call

despair, minds wilderness entangled forest. 

I miss who i used to be. sifting 

through the ashes

i will remember, if i find substance

in the ground, buried deep as fossil fuel. i seek

connection, an end to suffering.

i am looking for my way out,

through the pin prick light ahead

of stars already dead. I reach outwith.

let them live within me. i long to find

the measure of my release

merging into the night forever. one

with the stillness of the 

blood moon. darkness reflecting cold steel,

on the river that all roots lead or bend to twist to.

our journey home.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

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a ‘caithris / the wake

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This morning, awake i hear your tones, not

as a whisper, nor sunken dreamscape.

solid reality struck a chord, as i reach

out to touch known. expectant in explicit

connection. skin to skin. but you & 

all your rhythmic shapes, so full of energy

are absent. 

from my chamber. loss [rings] 

out. i know this place, the darkness recognises 

me. tomorrow screams and

sounds it’s memory in constant vibration. time

pays no heed to emotion 

lost, tears hit the space between.

objects remind, that you [were.] your watch

sleeps silently ticking in another land, beside

my bed. i touch connective warmth into

it’s face, the face that saw you live to ritual.

there is a stain, on my heart i can’t wash out.

drunk on vinegar, it remains

shadowed by the day after. when the world was

new to me. the first fall of snow, chilled boned

gutted rooms. i buried the daylight with your

leaving. boxed love up. that night i 

burnt summer in the backyard. ashes to ash,

& fed the weeds with love. all trace of us gone,

i wait for your return. i know time will

[wake.] recognising me in your face, 

sensing movement, inclined gravitation 

offsetting the [un]balanced, times hands will

[move]me on.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved. 

sglèat / slate

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In another time & place       

when i was someone else — i          

held you. saw you for the 

last time. final journey.   

gazing out towards   

home, i watched you  

fly — across the tidal ice.

soul carried 

high. sky slate    

grey, as the ice packed 

North Sea,

roared tumbling.

pain echoing thunder.

crack. the tearing 

of my soul & all the half stitched

seams holding us together.

i stood inside days. waiting. lost 

inside the storm.

staring out. standing tied.

shore-bound, screaming

at the raw edged wound of nature. 

hoping to be swallowed up,

as hearts opened & merged 

with the fossils of stones.

one moment out of time & step,

the glance away — the cruelest blow. 

my hell brain mind replaying 

last words back

to me. unsettled, mingling with the

Sea. as day rolled in & out. pain

washing over. tears flooding,

drowning me,mixing with the salt. eroding

my reflection. the me i had become,

your eyes, staring back 

from the deep, in 

hollowed scooped

out silence. 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

òran / song

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do you have to know  

a language,to understand

a song.heartache in the loss.   

sadness inside melancholy.

love,within the light,

reverberates. nature’s echo  

ripples over the landscape 

of unspoken trace memory. 

inside each raindrop life’s river

runs.the stag hears below

the heather.below the ground.

below all sound.blood pumps

within everything.inside every

flower that blooms — shoots — 

the newborn song of life.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

gràdh agus beatha / Amor et Vita

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final

 

W h e r e  has  our love gone
have  time and  p a i n  washed
love  a w a y
has our  f o c u s
s h i f t e d  feelings
left behind along the way..
Has  p a i n  blocked
out the sunlight
the path that leads to
and from  m y  door
has warmth left  y o u r  chambered heart forever
Is love  l y i n g  dying
b a t t e r e d  on  a  b l e e d i n g floor..
Is it  h i d i n g  from
what  l i e s  waiting
all that causes it f e a r
and  p a i n..
Is it hanging on to something
d e a d  n o w..
something  r e m e m b e r e d
something  blamed..
Have  f i s t s and  a n g e r  distorted my vision
of who i  a m  and  how  i  f e e l
has the sunlight turned
to D a r k n e s s
my  e c h o   of  p a i n  all
that is  R e a l …

tha mi airson faighinn a-mach
©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Co-chothrom / Balance

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I remember him..

small years

specks of dust in immortality

a lifetime in oblivion..

Strong gaze

clear thinking

direct-ly soft at the core

patiently towering

lost in the wilderness

trying to collect and hold

Hold on..

to you

to me

to himself..

Discover who he was

between the blows

the bitter stench of alcohols

uncaring love struck Kiss..

Tender-sweet to the taste

in our hidden moments..

Poetically lyrical in thought

out of step with time

we fitted into each other

through each other..

Without I drift on the current

trying to find some balance..

Tidal waves inside surging into

darkest midnight

adrift in howling storms

Lost inside the darkness within

the waves

searching for the light

that in that moment past

shone only once forever

inside deepest pools

of loves

midnight blue..

lost to oblivion

Reflecting on into the Darkness…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.