tàirneach / thunder

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I washed you out with bitter words
i washed myself out with it. spat me
out down the drain where I’m sitting
still. watching waiting for the change
to come to feel again to leave undone
to stop the hammer in my head that
keeps reverberating through each night
each day disrupting all, won’t leave me be..
i did not want what you wanted
i did not want
i did not
i did
i
I saw
i saw the spark
i saw the spark kindle
i saw the spark kindle and catch light
I saw the light within the darkness
the darkness within your eyes
i wanted to dive in to see to feel to
lose myself, get lost in all from me as
far from me as i could get it’s never
far enough. i see and feel the rain too much
i see and feel the voices echoing, resonating
on into the distance and back again. the
arrows as they pierce. i am engulfed buried
under the darkest night of howling moon.

i see the colours of the darkness, the dripping
reds and hurtful words the clawing and the
scratches the cut marks as i lay in bed, it all
comes back to me tenfold within the voice
that will not leave or listen. i see and feel
all I’ve done undone and done again i feel unto
the end of time the crushing inside my mind,
the crushing weight of all the pain, the universe
undone again. as it cries out i hear the siren
in the whisper,the banshee in its loss, the blood
that thunders underground, the spark that shoots
and feeds the roots of all we are connected — dis
connected to,the ties that bind us all together,
the shadows as they walk and creep, the darkness
as it swoops and steeps to reach out to us, to
lend a hand, the fist that closes in. i hear the
silence beneath the waves that beat, that rise and
fall, ebb in and out and crash — as birds swoop
overhead and trust the air that suffocates.

i did not want to be as i am but here i sit and this
is me, a shell engulfed by flames and light within
the screaming darkness of my night.
a shell surrounded and engulfed by sound, that flows
and pumps the beat unto the ground,that feels it
all the ebb the flow the heightening quick of the
undertow, as i am pulled this way and that.
i spat me out down the drain where I’m sitting still..
watching waiting for the change to come,to feel
again to leave undone to stop the hammer in my
head. to leave me be to be as dead within the
hush, the silence that must live — somewhere
inside the chaos within — the melancholy of
the sound…

 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Fìorachd mheasgaichte / Mixed Reality

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Between darkness and light

what hides in the shadows of

Our imagination

the tear in the membrane

of our soul..

Does our consciousness

Create what hides within

the fear that erodes from

the in

the break in reality..

housing the voice only we can hear

pecking at our minds in hope

that we give in..

We all live between the darkness and the light

In the cold blue black of night..

Which thread of reality should we hold onto

as we slip inside the out

when demons surrounding are too loud..

Perhaps the hush is within

the tears that flow

the glass shards imploding around..

the blood that pumps underground..

inside the shadows of our portable shell

the form in which we hide

from the hands that grasp..

Inside the house behind the door

that we bolt Shut..

to keep the monsters out..

In the pitch black of night

I hold myself on the cold floorboards

and pray to the darkness

in my soul

he’s the only one who will ever know…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Dèidh / Desire

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Following

tracing

outlining

borders of

your silken

skin..

fingertips

Touching contours

Sensing our soul as

tender form

dips out and in..

inside

my heart

Deep

within..

Skipping

trembling

past

flesh..

Desire

Reaching

outwith

Launching

flowing into

Deepest pools

mirrored songs

that ripple

echoing

below

e-Sensual night…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Oidhche / Night

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Light dies untouched..
ebbing away
Darkness seeps
into every thought
each sickly pore
tuneless Memories burn and
Slice at open nerves
Laid seeping bare
by dreams of night
my memories of you
First glimpse unto the last
played back in jarring non sequential time..

Stark images
of warmth and of the sun
scattering in spirals downwards
Unordered
Torn inside the
Final darkened day
Unseen until I stepped inside
and Stopped..

Cold..
love broken sits unseeing
shattering the mirror
still life
as loves curtain gently
blows beyond
and outside streetlights
look on
into the flicker
where all life lives..

Love lost
forever locked inside the
blossoming river inside
the empty silent room
the final Stop..
where I walked in
where love in silence sat and died
where futile impotence
gave birth in me..

I stood incapable
Laid bare
In greyed out emotion
echoing screams inside my mind
that wouldn’t Stop
the questions unto myself
my pleading unto you
unheard..
Anger rising
as silent
shadows swept the room

Were they looking for love too..

 

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.