bàthadh / drowning

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love has been an unexpected found, lost for me before i dared to open the hands that clenched, trying to contain. bloomed confusion obscured inside the shadowed hurt of childhood. before i unlocked the door to inner self, found you outwith.

love has been the cold reflective, steel blade. understanding, giving. unforgiving. the release of who i am, my path back to you.

the path to emotions shuttered room, where i pray on tired knee. beg to die, beg to live, to come alive. to feel renewal inside, energies light, birthing the summer sun.

the fight, to barter with emotion. life’s metronome unbalanced. the constant flux. the unexpected found, the unsound. the fight within, to understand the eternal source, that drags me down to the drowning pool.

©kbain18.

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drioftadh / drifting

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if I could be anywhere

I’d be bare, foot

sinking in soft selkie sand. cool surround

calm mingling. lying shore still on childhood down.

north sea roaring rolling over — me

gazing at night sky overhead. a star

with no name yet — shooting across. lighting the way,

offering hope. winking. me

assimilated in breeze, contemplating drifting,

driftwood underfoot.

gull soaring through ages, times past horizons.

the rise & fall of fishing boats,

on silver seas.

the vastness

of our — lost connections.

©kbain2018.

aig toiseach-tòiseachaidh / in the beginning

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my father reached out.

spoke to me in the instant

before death,

lost inside the earth cores deepest

sleep. held inside the silent

mountain, i held his

hand. sing out. life is all

reaching, if you’re doing.

falling, failing,

getting up. living in the

joy & inside the saddest river.

life is present, being.

inside life’s pain

we stretch to live, all trying,

lost within the dying & the ends.

mute swans sing out

in their dying moments.

a story told in days, reaching

into tomorrow, carried on

from otherworlds,

upon the backs of birds who travel

in between the song of sound. the song the

living cannot hear unless we dream.

birds speak & understand the minds of man.

we have travelled together,

watching inside darkened

centuries of history in

muted communication,shaping time,as

shifting sound. listen. the dreaming

understand the song of death,

the journey into the screaming universe.

the shifting shore where our first words

were song,

held within the blink of

night hawk eye. swans sing inside

their joy to die, they

call out to the darkness that sings to

them. i heard my father

in his dying breath. his song of loss, speaking forgiveness, a song

of pain. the messenger walks

between the sound of worlds, he

whispers, listen. know in recognition,

the going home, the roaring dawn ahead. the end is the voice of understanding.

©kbain2018.All Rights Reserved.

òran / song

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do you have to know  

a language,to understand

a song.heartache in the loss.   

sadness inside melancholy.

love,within the light,

reverberates. nature’s echo  

ripples over the landscape 

of unspoken trace memory. 

inside each raindrop life’s river

runs.the stag hears below

the heather.below the ground.

below all sound.blood pumps

within everything.inside every

flower that blooms — shoots — 

the newborn song of life.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Brìgh / Substance

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I love you..
in substance
and shadow
the shadow where you live
where I cast you
banished to
all substance is gone
just a tethering
a tethered pain
Submitting..

The break
in memory of
who we once were
and you
to me
You are my past present
my future
you cling to me
your body
shadows
around all time
I hear your voice
inside the locked dark room
your melody plays
inside
my heart echoes your
constant rhythm
I call to you in the night
I am lost..

In losing you
I recognised myself
saw you behind me in
the mirror
reflecting dreams
my vivid ink stained nightmare
back to me..

From the cold beyond
skin drenched
you reach out to me
Touch me
through the glass
fluidly..

Metal glints
plasma pools and drips
Seeping
rain falls on me
tears stream
you are inside them..

Dark claret pours
shining as it streams
blanching cherry
wood boards
you are everywhere
Flowing..
the seen unseen

I miss you as you were
You are as a
beautiful illuminating
bloodlust spectre
that haunts
Each day
my Night
caressing me
in stark moonlight
Outlining my soul
with your body
hushing my tears..

The river flows endlessly
there is no stopping
I am adrift
wild is the river
You flow through me..

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.