gun rabhadh / unannounced  

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voices come to me unannounced i  
answer them. they offer unfinished
questions. i have incompletes to give
spoken, in the language of broken. 
mouth sounds, garbled out sync
from a time before, the out spark misfire.
they hover near my face, sometimes they
bark, i am the one begging. they slide into
me as i become. disappear at my bidding 
back into the porous wall, the white noise sleep, 
the shutter, curtain to the overwhelm,
offered up from the land of never born. i sink. 
i am the stone, recumbent 
under ice river, white numb bone. 
the water goddess ice shelf 
washes over me.
i drift to sea. no dreams live underwater.
blanc nothing, buoyant in loss. i am 
absent. existence ebbs & flows 
inside the undertow i was born into, that keeps me
down. i kick, twitch to surface spitting.
lashed incomplete, inside confusion. 
drying out, thawing, i will remember who i was,
next,
time.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.  

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Brìgh / Substance

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I love you..
in substance
and shadow
the shadow where you live
where I cast you
banished to
all substance is gone
just a tethering
a tethered pain
Submitting..

The break
in memory of
who we once were
and you
to me
You are my past present
my future
you cling to me
your body
shadows
around all time
I hear your voice
inside the locked dark room
your melody plays
inside
my heart echoes your
constant rhythm
I call to you in the night
I am lost..

In losing you
I recognised myself
saw you behind me in
the mirror
reflecting dreams
my vivid ink stained nightmare
back to me..

From the cold beyond
skin drenched
you reach out to me
Touch me
through the glass
fluidly..

Metal glints
plasma pools and drips
Seeping
rain falls on me
tears stream
you are inside them..

Dark claret pours
shining as it streams
blanching cherry
wood boards
you are everywhere
Flowing..
the seen unseen

I miss you as you were
You are as a
beautiful illuminating
bloodlust spectre
that haunts
Each day
my Night
caressing me
in stark moonlight
Outlining my soul
with your body
hushing my tears..

The river flows endlessly
there is no stopping
I am adrift
wild is the river
You flow through me..

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Cùrsaichean air astar/ Distance

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Love seeps into the heart
warm and Fluid
rushing
flowing
pooling
Deep within
every sinew…

Pulsating with life
part of the whole
Connected along maternal lines
platelets ruby red
freshly oxygenated
At the touch
of Life
my gift to you…

In return
you offer iced chilled pain
siphoned technology
Cobalt blue
and copper wires…
care distilled through barriers

Technological last moments..
sheer image
of my son’s becoming
To me..
to himself
Stark reflections
of the cold unwelcoming world
inhabited now…
from Home

Distance
life’s
dying
Kiss…

 

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Lùigeadh / Longing

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St. Fillan's Parish Kirk-

If I am to meet you again
Let not the years that have
separated us come between us
let your touch
not be that of a Stranger
let us know ourselves
in recognition and each other
understand and be true of heart..
reach out and connect in love
Not in loss and pain but full of joy
of the happiness that lived inside us
that we saw and believed in
wrapping ourselves around

Let us be as one..

Feel again the flame that burned
inside and that we knew..
let the sorrow be outcast and leave
Us both
erasing the meaningless words
I spoke unto you
to make you go away…
to make you leave me..
to make you love me not..
let us see each other and remember
and at the same time let us forget
to walk in understanding
to forgive each other
and ourselves
To both be whole again…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Deeply Within

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Deeply within….
You are inside me/ you are me
see me/surround me…
You are my very being

My every breath unspoken
My sweetest thought
My gentlest dream…
My softest whisper….blowing

You are life unending…
All encompassing/disrobing/untangling/Flowing
Wash over me and make me whole

You understand me..feel me
Astound me/ See me
Surround me, so deeply within

You are Light, and touch, and caressing laughter
The everafter love
And I tremble so deeply within

©Copyright Karen Bain 2014. All Rights Reserved.