sgèith / fly

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E s c a p e [myself ]

o u t r u n myself

get o u t of myself

in and out of myself

r u n n i n g through

away and from this[self ]

out fly myself

out-time and space

myself

declassify the

pain filled space

within [myself ]

the cluttered messy

mistake[s] of myself

the mess within

the core of myself

inside

the madness within

the brain

that creates this[self ]

the s o u n d that R o a r s

past

silence inside

the volume within

my[self ]

the voices telling

me what

i need to

do

to [myself ]

the slices of life

I’ve taken in

H a t r e d of [myself ]

all the time

not

e v e r

there for

[my]

self..

I want [so ] much

to l e a v e

myself

while

there is s t i l l

some [self ]

and — f l y — to You.

©kbain2018.

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tail / matter

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You Matter. we all matter. we are mutually connected interconnected prescient even if you have no one in the present moment. you matter. i’ve been there alone. loved. unloved. tried to live. tried to die. de-fragmented been born again learned how to fly again to reassemble the shattered pieces of who i ever was or could have been again. rearranged. lived on in pain. even in my lesser moments dared to be. i am connected. introspectively reordered never whole but I am matter in this time. this space. this infinite present. let us live amidst the wonder of our dreams step on into our future selves and Never let go of the life rope we created. hold on. hold on to you. and climb. climb on into the Blue…

 

©Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Neo-làthaireach / Absence

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Absence
Nothingness
unbeing…
darkeness
Unseen
 
Spiralling down
undone
untowards anything
Dis-connection from
Undoing…
Unexisting
un self past born
 
Wrenching
past the twisted pain
of unliving never more
to unbe
Un holding on….
 
 
©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

An t-Slighe / The Way

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I am the sum of all who have helped me
all who have shown me the way
I am the sum of all who have offered me
their tomorrow’s are my today

I am the sum of all who saw in me
what I did not see in myself
the sum of a precious journey…
The path beyond myself

I am the sum of all who gave to me
what I could not find inside of me
I am the song that was sung to my heart
echoing beyond my darkest night

the sum of a thousand tender gifts
Speaking love and beauty and dignity…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Numb

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TIRED…
Tired of the pain
Of the inter/ruptured/ruption in my thoughts
Of pains inability to focus
Tired of pain/less empty medication
and the double edged sword of numb
offered up…
from a hollow world
Tired of numb as the only everlasting option
from the endless searing hurt
Of blurred thoughts
and the fractal visions that it brings
Tired of trying to get back to me
The me that I was…free
Once…
The land where numb was never
my preferred choice
before my brain
and surgical steel devoured me
Tired….
Tired of the living nightmare
that fragile mortality has become
picking up the pieces
Trapped..in the Darkness
between endless pain
and the unwanted promise of numb
TIRED…

 

©Copyright Karen Bain 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Love returned

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Do you come to me..
do you run to me..
do you love me

every turn your head makes from me
every empty silent word
all that is said about nothing
Pridefully avoiding ourselves and each other
suppressed in smothering silence
choking the blue/black chilled air
surrounding our fears
hiding from the reality though it faces us
And we awake to it each morning

But it is there
dead long ago..
left to fester now in
the shadow of all we were
in the dust of our memories
that once cast beauty and connected light
through our tender love
encompassing all
The brightest of both our pasts
undying love in thought and time
Visited no more
grown tired in the waiting room

All is ever/ all is present/ all is truth
All is let go
and I will run from you
because I love you
And return to me.

©Karen Bain 2014.All Rights Reserved.