òran / song

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do you have to know  

a language,to understand

a song.heartache in the loss.   

sadness inside melancholy.

love,within the light,

reverberates. nature’s echo  

ripples over the landscape 

of unspoken trace memory. 

inside each raindrop life’s river

runs.the stag hears below

the heather.below the ground.

below all sound.blood pumps

within everything.inside every

flower that blooms — shoots — 

the newborn song of life.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

mar chùimhneachan / in memoriam

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for as long as memory,  

i have stared at the

exit. a glow-worm radiant, switched    

off and on

in mind. it comforts me.

calming my thoughts, scorching  

past the c r i s s  

c r o s s landscape of

the never[mind]. 

only i hold the key 

that opens that final

silent room, inside the box,

inside the house of me.

i lived there,

once, safe. inside that room, 

absent of thought, 

inner silence 

runs as the ice river.

washing over me, subduing, submerging

my tears. i am smothered under 

molten earth. in that land, pain

lies down, & sleeps forever,

and all the fractured

pieces lost along the way

reassemble. i radiate onward

outwith the sun. the mirrored river

of life flows on, softening

the embers of the flames

inside the burn.

the soul will finally – be. 

in memoriam, i can return.

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

toirt air falbh / subtraction

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the only one who

ever gave me a refund

on how i was feeling

was you. the till

was always clamped. shut. no one had

what i was looking for.

no one recognised

i only had the exit. key in my pocket.

cold hands reaching.

i still see ,the sign.

flickering like a moth in and

out the light. dancing with

the devil. a glow-worm

burrowing in.

my exit – a becoming – glow. it’s everywhere i go.

the man with the blade follows me.

I follow the rich red velvet — the decompose.

he turns the light above the doorway on.when

i least expect it. leaves the door for me,

when im not okay. it’s okay to not be. i lie, in wait.

i glance into the distract. life trails away.

in the dark, droplets of pain flick off, metal glints.

pulling me.

pain lies,it knows no truths. its trickster whispers –

the becoming scream – in league

with the hellbrain. the dark subtractions

of me. suicides unforgiving past projector

lighting up. the wall ahead, distorting.

twisting my thoughts. wiping out all reason.

a static overload tuned to the judgement station.

the post it notes of past mistakes, razor wire stitched

inside my shredded, peeling soul.

if the devil is in the details,

who is it i see lurking

in the shadows of

disorder, waiting for me?

©Copyright Karen Bain 2017.All Rights Reserved.

Cùrsaichean air astar/ Distance

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Love seeps into the heart
warm and Fluid
rushing
flowing
pooling
Deep within
every sinew…

Pulsating with life
part of the whole
Connected along maternal lines
platelets ruby red
freshly oxygenated
At the touch
of Life
my gift to you…

In return
you offer iced chilled pain
siphoned technology
Cobalt blue
and copper wires…
care distilled through barriers

Technological last moments..
sheer image
of my son’s becoming
To me..
to himself
Stark reflections
of the cold unwelcoming world
inhabited now…
from Home

Distance
life’s
dying
Kiss…

 

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

Mì-dhealbhaich / Distorts

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In the dying embers of fading light

Fractal distortions echo and glare

distorted voices painfully overlap

haunted pain-wrenching imagery…

 

Visions of warped consciousness

fearfully scatter in the periphery

of my Ticking trickling time

that warps and bends

As it drips

gathers useless droplets

and falls in mindless

puddles of pooled lost connections…

 

Intricate dis-chords shattering the room

broken shards of thought

ungrasped scattering outwith…

Evaporating from touch

as grasping hands reach out

Lost inside the dimming light

of minds once razor sharp

expectant day…

 

Reductions of thought

lost in severing Pain

tuneless overlays…

Of days and moments fading memories

that once roared and blazed

so clearly

across the sun drenched paths…

 

Sure footing

Fallen

into Jarring

lessening

unknown

Voiceless twilight…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.

An t-Slighe / The Way

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I am the sum of all who have helped me
all who have shown me the way
I am the sum of all who have offered me
their tomorrow’s are my today

I am the sum of all who saw in me
what I did not see in myself
the sum of a precious journey…
The path beyond myself

I am the sum of all who gave to me
what I could not find inside of me
I am the song that was sung to my heart
echoing beyond my darkest night

the sum of a thousand tender gifts
Speaking love and beauty and dignity…

©Karen Bain 2016.All Rights Reserved.